"From Slavery to Freedom": A Passover Reflection

I was born into a family whose perspectives on were very harsh and destructive towards all who encircled it.

A resident sketches a self-portrait for art therapy

My parents decided to bring many children into the world. They probably thought that they would solve their problems this way, something that evidently didn’t happen.

As a girl, I found myself in a family of seven children. I was nothing for my parents, nor to my siblings, and all who were around me. But when someone had personal need and I was able to fulfill it, I was suddenly someone – even someone important. 

I was an expert at keeping secrets. Everyone knew this and exploited it. They fought and I listened to both angry sides curse each other.

I didn't know what to do with all that I felt inside me. I was always trampled on, overlooked, and my self-confidence was destroyed. All of this went on until I turned 16 and decided that something wasn’t right and that I was not living as well as I deserved to live.

I started to send distress signals to the world, but still, nobody paid any attention. As a result of extreme distress I swallowed pills during school lessons hoping that someone would pay attention to me. But even then nobody saw. All sorts of things happened and eventually I reached a psychiatric hospital, spending half a year there. 

In the end, I was sent to Beit Ruth.  That was the best thing that happened to me in my life.

In the beginning, I was skeptical. I tried to grasp what the staff’s true intentions were, what the girls’ intentions were, and those of everyone who tried to help me.  As I began to understand that their kindness was all was pure, I suddenly felt like a human being who is worth something.

Since the beginning, everyone has tried to increase my self-confidence. They have even succeeded somewhat, and they are still continuing to build up my self-confidence which was so severely depleted. They protect me from the people and the bad things that are likely to threaten me and at last I feel good.  I am able suddenly to feel, and to to express my feelings vocally and receive a response.

I am able to dream and to try to help others who were in my position to get out of their situation.

I know now that I much more than ‘nothing’ and that I have something to offer the world – I am not just any other useless tool.

This is FREEDOM in my eyes.